Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why we are ostriches

"Life is difficult." This is the opening sentence of one of the most interesting books I have read this year - The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck.
Observing readers might have spotted it already a few months ago in the "Books on My Pile" section of this blog, but it was only today that I was reminded of its brilliance when I spoke to my mother about the challenges of life and responsibility.

What Peck makes very clear (in a much better way than I can) is that we would stop lamenting the difficulties of life if we just accepted the fact that life is not a walk in the park, but a series of problems that require solving. That is why we pose ficticious problems to children in school - we mean to teach them the discipline necessary to confront the large and small hardships of life.
It is only because we refuse to accept this fact - or simply ignore it - that it comes back to haunt us. The pain of confronting an issue that we have ignored and that has grown out of proportion is much greater than the pain of going ahead an finding a solution in the first place. And still, like ostriches, we stick our heads into the sand and pretend that life is only really worth living when it's entirely enjoyable.

I am no exception. The more important something is, the longer it takes me to actually get my act together and do something. Job applications. Car repairs. Insurance issues. Long-overdue thank-you notes. Why? I have no idea ... I guess it is because I, too, want life to be easy.

However, if I think about it, this is exactly what I don't want. Life without challenges is life without growth. Peck quotes Benjamin Franklin as saying "those things that hurt, instruct". Looking back at my life, the challenging times were the ones that made me grow most. Moves. Breakups. University and career choices. Arguments with friends and family. Tough bosses. Criticism.

And, quite frankly, if it weren't for problems, life would be ... incredibly dull.

(Take advantage of Amazon's "Search Inside" option and read the first four pages of Peck's book here. They will make your mouth water.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was a great one, I fully agree. From my experience there are times, as a student, when you somehow realize this fact but it doesn't hurt severely (enough?) in a way. But getting into real business afterwards - no matter if employee or entrepreneur - might be an excellent teacher in terms of our struggle to grow. And all of a sudden some mistakes get existentially crucial.

I came across this quote, which somehow gets the idea in other words, from Glenn Kelman, CEO of Redfin, the other day: "Truth is our only currency."

Togenberg said...

Thanks for the link to your 9/24 and 8/1. I respnded on both.

I really appreciate the late M. Scott Peck. His books are the reason I considered both going into therapy and revisiting my faith. I saw this post earlier and even quoted him too in a blog entry as you'd done.

I imagine this is what you were alluding to in your comment on my blog
"The pain of confronting an issue that we have ignored and that has grown out of proportion is much greater than the pain of going ahead an finding a solution in the first place. And still, like ostriches, we stick our heads into the sand and pretend that life is only really worth living when it's entirely enjoyable."
I couldn't agree more! Now to continually face the things that frighten me, to fight, to heal.

God grant me the courage to face the things that frighten me so. And grant Magdalena the wisdom, imagination and grit to pursue the right path now that the clearer life of school has ended and that so many possibilities present themselves.