OMG, like, how are ya?

Coming to the United States, I expected to encounter all kinds of things that would need some getting used to. The food, the shopping malls, dorm life, et cetera.
The one cultural particularity that I have not managed to get used to to this day are cultural differences connected to the language.

During my first days here, I was constantly being greeted with a friendly smile and the question: "How are you?" - "Fine", I answered. "Still a bit jetlagged, but I like it. And you?"
At best, my lengthy response would earn me a puzzled look. In the worst case, by the time I had gotten to "fine", they were already around the next corner.
And so I learned my first lesson: "How are you?" is not a question. It is a statement.
Then again, people make their stories sound like a series of questions. "The other day, I went to the mall? I looked around and saw this realy cute sweater? And I thought, oh my gawd? I think I need to have this?"
Con-fusing.

My other favorite: Fillers. Those useful little words and phrases can turn the smallest comment into a real semantic beauty. Take this example: "So OK, I was totally like, you know, 'I have no idea' or something!" Wow. Talk about adding spice to the phrase "I said 'I have no idea'."
The other day, my friend Alvin took a little tally counter to class, and we kept track of the amount of times that people used the word "like". We got to 115 in an hour.

And finally: Abbreviations. Why bother articulating words if a couple of letters do the trick? A few of my favorite examples:
DTR. Define The Relationship. The uncomfortable conversation between a boy and a girl to figure out "where they are at". Happens frequently and is hated, above all, by the male half of the pair.
BYOB. Bring your own beer/booze/bottle. Especially in a dry town like Wellesley, where bars and liquor stores are illegal and restaurants are not allowed to serve alcohol, people bring their own bottle of wine when they go out to have a pizza.
AWOL. Absence Without Official Leave - originally used in a military context for deserting soldiers, it is now used for people who have been gone or out of touch for a long time. The best part: It is actually pronouced! "She's been ay-wall for weeks now."
FYI. For your information. I knew that one before - what I didn't know is that it's actually a word. "Eff-why-eye, I am not coming to work tomorrow."

Oh, those Americans. Gotta love 'em.